There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a
dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the
middle ground between right and left ears, between science and
superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the (apparent) valley
of his knowledge. This is the dimension of indignation. It is an area
which we call...
Election Season.
That's all, just 'cause.
-Me
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Friday, December 9, 2011
Are you feeling "Bubbly"?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you irrefutable evidence that the song "Bubbly" by Colbie Callait could be interpreted as something other than a young lady in love. I present to you proof that this song is about the most rewarding, fulfilling and occasionally uncomfortable of human bodily functions: poop.
First, let's examine the title of the song: Bubbly. Sure, we could be talking about one's personality, the feeling you get deep down when someone makes your heart flutter, but most likely it's the feeling deep down in your stomach after bad Mexican food: bubbly.
Next, let's look at the chorus: "It starts in my toes, make me crinkle my nose, where ever it goes, I always know that you make me smile"
What was the last thing that started in your toes, and worked it's way up, to the point of you wanting to scrunch your face up (crinkling your nose...)? I'll give you a hint: you probably had the urge to shout, "fire in the hole!", you were probably running up the stairs and willing to stiff arm your grandmother, small children or even a pet on your way to the porcelain throne. The last thing that affected you from your toes to you nose and everything in between was not love, it was poop. Admit it.
"I've been awake for a while now, you've got me feelin like a child now...I get the tinglies in a silly place"
Do I really even need to address this?? Really?!
"The rain is fallin on my window pane, but we are hidin in a safer place..."
In other words: "No place I'd rather be on a rainy day with potential diarrhea (or constipation) than the comfort of my bathroom"; Miss Callait goes on to sing, "... under covers stayin dry *(safe) and warm you give me feelins that I adore"; my guess is either an ode to Charmin (TM) or the refuge of a soft blanket on the couch after a rough inning at the plate, if you catch my drift.
"What am I gonna say when you make me feel this way I just........mmmmmm" --Sounds like a sigh of relief if I ever did hear one...
"It starts in my soul, and I lose all control"
'Round my house, we call this a "poop-splosion". They are most often had by my son, however, Lindsay and I both have fallen victim to a "loss of control"; unfortunately for the other party, this means that stiff arms have been given en route to the "thinking room" and all laundry was spared.
This next one very well may be just me, but, I can't help but to see Mr Hankey Poo on a raft, turning and waving as I hear, "just take your time, where ever you go..."
I leave you with the beautiful and talented, Colbie Callait.
First, let's examine the title of the song: Bubbly. Sure, we could be talking about one's personality, the feeling you get deep down when someone makes your heart flutter, but most likely it's the feeling deep down in your stomach after bad Mexican food: bubbly.
Next, let's look at the chorus: "It starts in my toes, make me crinkle my nose, where ever it goes, I always know that you make me smile"
What was the last thing that started in your toes, and worked it's way up, to the point of you wanting to scrunch your face up (crinkling your nose...)? I'll give you a hint: you probably had the urge to shout, "fire in the hole!", you were probably running up the stairs and willing to stiff arm your grandmother, small children or even a pet on your way to the porcelain throne. The last thing that affected you from your toes to you nose and everything in between was not love, it was poop. Admit it.
"I've been awake for a while now, you've got me feelin like a child now...I get the tinglies in a silly place"
Do I really even need to address this?? Really?!
"The rain is fallin on my window pane, but we are hidin in a safer place..."
In other words: "No place I'd rather be on a rainy day with potential diarrhea (or constipation) than the comfort of my bathroom"; Miss Callait goes on to sing, "... under covers stayin dry *(safe) and warm you give me feelins that I adore"; my guess is either an ode to Charmin (TM) or the refuge of a soft blanket on the couch after a rough inning at the plate, if you catch my drift.
"What am I gonna say when you make me feel this way I just........mmmmmm" --Sounds like a sigh of relief if I ever did hear one...
"It starts in my soul, and I lose all control"
'Round my house, we call this a "poop-splosion". They are most often had by my son, however, Lindsay and I both have fallen victim to a "loss of control"; unfortunately for the other party, this means that stiff arms have been given en route to the "thinking room" and all laundry was spared.
This next one very well may be just me, but, I can't help but to see Mr Hankey Poo on a raft, turning and waving as I hear, "just take your time, where ever you go..."
I leave you with the beautiful and talented, Colbie Callait.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Just Cause
OK Chris, you have a blog. Why?
Simple -- from time to time, I have funny and interesting things to say. If you don't believe me, ask my wife. I keep her in stitches...seriously from time to time, I feel the need to mindlessly rail on and on and on about stuff, so this is my outlet. This is MY WAY to reach the masses! All...one of you.
Will you change the names to protect the innocent?
Well...kinda. I will do my best to either change your name or the scenario, but let's be honest, you'll know if I'm talking about you. And if you're not sure, you should probably do some soul searching and question your recent behavior. I'll try not to name anyone by name...unless I just don't like you or you're married to me; in that case, you'll have to deal with it. Oh, and you cannot create your own nickname, that's part of my fun.
Let me get this straight: you started a blog just to bitch about stuff?
No, not quite. Really, this blog will be equal parts funny (or maddening, take your pick) daily occurrences, my workout journal, fitness advice (because, let's be honest...that's what you REALLY want to see...ok, maybe not), random thoughts and musings...it's where I'll bare my soul. Oh yea, by the way; the blog won't be public for very long; I will secure it, but hey, it's cool; just email me and check back frequently --if you eventually can read it, that means I probably like you. If you can't see it, well then I've probably told you (virtually) to eat shit and die. I can do that, this is my blog :-P
Why'd you name your blog Just Cause?
Because sometimes I'll post just cause...and sometimes I'll post with just cause. Get it...
Until next time, folks!
-C
Simple -- from time to time, I have funny and interesting things to say. If you don't believe me, ask my wife. I keep her in stitches...seriously from time to time, I feel the need to mindlessly rail on and on and on about stuff, so this is my outlet. This is MY WAY to reach the masses! All...one of you.
Will you change the names to protect the innocent?
Well...kinda. I will do my best to either change your name or the scenario, but let's be honest, you'll know if I'm talking about you. And if you're not sure, you should probably do some soul searching and question your recent behavior. I'll try not to name anyone by name...unless I just don't like you or you're married to me; in that case, you'll have to deal with it. Oh, and you cannot create your own nickname, that's part of my fun.
Let me get this straight: you started a blog just to bitch about stuff?
No, not quite. Really, this blog will be equal parts funny (or maddening, take your pick) daily occurrences, my workout journal, fitness advice (because, let's be honest...that's what you REALLY want to see...ok, maybe not), random thoughts and musings...it's where I'll bare my soul. Oh yea, by the way; the blog won't be public for very long; I will secure it, but hey, it's cool; just email me and check back frequently --if you eventually can read it, that means I probably like you. If you can't see it, well then I've probably told you (virtually) to eat shit and die. I can do that, this is my blog :-P
Why'd you name your blog Just Cause?
Because sometimes I'll post just cause...and sometimes I'll post with just cause. Get it...
Until next time, folks!
-C
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